Monday, November 1, 2010

Fortune Cookies and Restless Hearts

"Stop searching forever...Happiness is just next to you."

"Can truth be found in a fortune cookie?" I wondered silently, as I stared at the message written on a slip of paper in what has to be the blandest cookie known to man. Usually, the fortunes that accompany Chinese food are extremely vague, and have little relevance to my life. But this time, the message seemed to be written just for me.

Recently, I have begrudgingly admitted that the current theme of my life is St. Augustine's exclamation, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O God." So far, I've got the restless part down to a science. I'm always looking towards the horizon, wondering what is just beyond my view.

Some may call this wanderlust--and I wouldn't argue. I love to travel, to experience the new, and at times frightening sense of being surrounded by a foreign culture and language. I miss the anonymity of being in a crowded place, and not understanding a word that is spoken. I also crave the opportunity to blend in with my surroundings, seeing how long I last before I am detected (usually my fellow Americans are the ones who give me away).

And yet, as I wander, I can't help but wonder what it is that I am trying so desperately to find--far, far away from the familiar...and family. I have been living at home for the past few months, applying for grad schools, interning at a Nature Reserve, and being present to my sisters and their ever-growing families. My fellow writer friend Christina asked me the other night a very simple, yet profound question: "What am I doing right now that makes me happy?"

The following is an answer to her question. I am happiest in my current state of life when I am...holding my niece Lily, and she slumbers soundly on my chest; researching the Victorian period or reading a novel from the Nineteenth Century; reciting/reading animatedly from a book of constellation myths and a dozen entranced children eagerly await my next sentence; taking a solitary walk under the clear night sky or gazing dreamily at the wisps of clouds surrounding a milky-white moon; sharing movies, music, and books with friends; baking and cooking, and mixing flour and spices...

Of course, the list above is far from exhaustive, but it speaks volumes. It is easy to overlook happiness when your eyes are weary from gazing into the distance. While I am far from believing in the prescience of a fortune cookie, I am convinced that God is really good at his job. He knows my heart, and more than anything, he knows how to draw my attention to the blessings I have in my life.

Can truth be found in a fortune cookie?
I have my doubts, but I do believe that God can work through the natural world, sending us signs from a variety of sources, perhaps, even from a fortune cookie. Most fortune cookies provide nothing more than amusement from their readers. But in this case, I think we could all benefit from heeding its command to: "Stop searching" endlessly. Happiness just may be next to you.