The Waiting Game

Waiting. When I was a child, it seemed like I was always waiting for something. Waiting for my turn in the bathroom, waiting to be picked up from school, waiting to be as tall as the Tweety Bird cut-out so I could ride the "big kid" rides at the amusement park, waiting for the next letter from my pen-pal, waiting to be old enough to drive, waiting to be out of high school.

Waiting.

I must have thought that waiting was something you grew out of. From my perspective, adults didn't have to wait. They had finally reached the point where waiting ended and living began.

I was wrong.

I am twenty-six, and I am still waiting. Waiting for a response to an time-sensitive email, waiting for my garden to grow (similar to watching paint dry or water boiling...this takes forever), waiting to spend time with my husband at the end of the day, waiting for prayers to be answered.

I had a conversation with a friend last night about the future. She is in the middle of a move to a different city--where a different life with different people await. What does the future hold? We traded possible plot-lines for this next phase of her life. Anticipation, excitement, intrigue, and romance filled the space between us. Of course we have no idea how the story will play out, but I believe it will have a good ending. Many twists and turns, some better than others, no doubt, but eventually "we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Life is full of waiting. But that doesn't mean that we can't live in the meantime. Life is more like reading a suspense novel than waiting in line to get your driver's license renewed (which let's face it, no one likes). When you're reading a suspense novel, you desperately want to know the end and you have some clues about how the main character (you!) will end up. But you have to wait until the end to know how everything tied together...even those little details that you thought were unimportant are clues of how God is working in your life. For your good. To give you a future full of hope.

What are you waiting for? What strategies do you have for remaining hopeful and cheerful while you are waiting?

Memento Mori

So what do you do when you can't sleep? You blog, of course!

Instead of sleeping, I am word-peddling. Dream-raking (imagine a bunch of dreams like a pile of leaves, and you will get the idea). Today was an amazing day. It started out innocuously enough. I am on Day 3 of a pesky cold, so I decided to sleep in to see if I could shorten it. Sleeping in meant I had less time to prepare for the day. I was in charge of leading a prayer for Cabrini Ministry Training, plus I signed up to bring snack for today's class. Fortunately I found the prayer without too much difficulty, and had already planned out what snack I was bringing.

But things started looking up during Cabrini. We were learning about how to minister to those who are dying, and their loved ones. Heavy stuff, I know. During the class, we had the opportunity to reflect on our own lives, and how we felt about death and dying. "Is there someone I need to forgive? What were my best moments? Who do I love and feel I need to entrust to the care of another? Is there anything I wish I could do before I died? What do I want others to remember about me?" *

Reflecting on my life from the perspective of my impending death may sound morbid. But it was truly illuminating. I think so often I fear death because of all of its unknowns. When you examine your life so far, and prayerfully consider what you would like to do with your time left here on earth, it places you in control of the how if not the when of death. Consider this last question for a moment: "What do I need to do so I do not need to look back, but am able to stand on the edge and surrender myself to all that is to come?"*

Through conversation with another Cabrini student, I came to the realization that I do have control over a lot more than I'd like to think. I can forgive. I can make sure my loved ones are taken care of after I die. I can check off items on my bucket list. And I can shape the way others will remember me. So as cheesy as it sounds, it is liberating to live like you were dying. Because let's face it. We all are. But that doesn't have to be a sad thing.

Are you living life to the fullest? If the answer is no (and let's face it, most of us will answer no), what can you do today that will make you more prepared for death?

*These questions come from Healing the Dying by Mary Jane Linn, CSJ

Christmas Traditions 2013

December proved to be even busier than November (I don't know how that is possible, but there you have it). No, we didn't move again, but we did have a lot of Christmas celebrations and get-togethers. Here are some fun Christmas traditions that we took part in this year:

Garden d'Lights

How does a botanical garden attract visitors during the winter months? By having a Christmas Light display, of course! Andy and I had a double date with Ron and Merrie to see this light-a-polooza. We had fun spotting animals and flowers--iguanas and dragons, turtles, and sunflowers.

I spy with my little eye...

Pacific Northwest Ballet's Nutcracker Suite. 

I didn't realize this until I moved to Seattle last year, but they have their own version of The Nutcracker up here. Maurice Sendak (of Where the Wild Things Are fame) worked with the PNB to create a production of that is very delightful, if very stylized. It successfully pleases the children and the young at heart in the audience. Andy and I went last year, and this year Merrie accompanied us.

A scene stealer

Making a Snow...person...er...woman

December also surprised us with a bonafide snow storm. We got about two inches of snow overnight--enough to blanket the ground and provide the satisfying "crunch" when trampled. Andy and I took a nice walk around the neighborhood to admire the snow. Everything looks better with snow, wouldn't you agree? After our walk, we made a snowperson. I decided it was a snow-woman because she was decidedly too curvy to be a man. For some reason, when I refer to her, I start out by saying we made a snow-person. Very PC of me. ;) It was the kind of snow that you could roll up easily--to build up a ball, you just had to roll it along the grass, and it picked up all the snow, leaving only grass behind. 

In front of our house

Isn't she terrifyingly beautiful?

Christmas Smorgasbord

 Since we were going to St. Louis to spend Christmas with my side of the family, we decided to have a pre-Christmas celebration with Andy's family at our new house. That way we could still spend Christmas with them AND get to show off our new house. I honestly couldn't have done it without the help and wisdom of my mother-in-law Merrie. She came up with the idea of having a Smorgasbord, instead of having me do all the cooking by myself. So each of the guests brought something different, and everything was true to the Swedish Smorgasbord form. We had Swedish meatballs, Lefse (potato pancake), cheesy potato casserole, Lingonberry Sauce, my very first attempt at homemade Cranberry Sauce, and Rice Pudding for dessert. Afterwards we went to Andy's wind ensemble holiday concert. And when we came back, we didn't have any dishes to worry about, because the men in Andy's family (and women) had cleaned up before we left. Unfortunately, in all the excitement, I didn't take any pictures. Oops.

Seahawks Game

Okay, so maybe this isn't a Christmas tradition, but I wanted to include it on the December list. Andy has been a Seahawks fan for pretty much his whole life, and had never been to a professional football game. We decided that 2013 was the year that was going to change. It turns out that football games are ridiculously expensive (when your team is good). They are also ridiculously intense (especially when the home team loses to a lesser team, breaking a two year winning streak at home). It was one of those stereotypical days in Seattle (you know, the kind that people think Seattle has all the time). Misty/rainy, cold, bone-chilling. You would think that would give us an advantage, seeing as we were playing the Arizona Cardinals. But alas, our offense was sleeping the whole time. If it wasn't for our defense, we wouldn't have even scored a touchdown. Okay, enough sports talk (Are you impressed with my football know-how? You should be.) Fortunately, I do understand the game of football now. Also fortunately, I have not picked up some of the lingo of my fellow sportsfans (profanity, anyone?). In a stadium known for being loud, we made some make-shift earplugs out of Subway napkins, but that wasn't enough to drown out the raucous fans. 

So in sum: professional football games seem to be akin to the spectacles at the Circus Maximus: Profanity, drunkenness, inappropriate dancing, and, of course, special effects (see below). Will we go again? Perhaps. But next time we'll try to go to a Seahawks vs. Rams game...in September. 

We had a nice birds-eye view of the field.

Flames shot out as the Seahawks ran on the field.

Traveling on December 23

Traveling around Christmas is new to me. The lines were a lot longer (to be expected). People were a little more on edge (also to be expected). But what was unexpected was the Eve of Christmas Eve in the Seattle airport. As we were approaching our gate, a man on a tall unicycle (he was about 6 feet up in the air) shouted, "Tall latte for 39. Did you order a tall latte? I've been looking everywhere!" Then at the gate, Santa and an elf drove up, spreading Christmas cheer with a jovial, "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!" One of the ladies at the gate with us responded emphatically, "Thank you! And thank you for saying 'Merry Christmas' instead of 'Happy Holidays.'" Santa greeted the lady warmly, and then passed out gifts to the children at the gate. Ten minutes later, a group of carolers, dressed in Victorian costume, began singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." I thought those were nice gestures to make the hectic holiday traveling experience a little more pleasant. 

Christmas in Missouri

We made it to Missouri with only a minor delay. My dad came to pick us up, and treated us to dinner at my favorite local Mexican restaurant. Christmas Eve was spent decorating the house, making cookies, and watching Christmas movies. Andy and I intended to go to the Midnight Mass, but by 10 we were exhausted. So we went to Mass the next day, with my sister Liz and her husband Jeremy and their children. It was nice to be able to spend a bit of time with my niece and nephew before everyone else came together. As can be expected, Christmas with 6 children, ages 3 and under is a very cute, but also very noisy experience. The first "generation" of nieces and nephews is growing up so fast...they seem to have boundless energy and enormous vocabularies.

Poinsettias or flames in the foreground? You decide.

Unfortunately, we spent about half of our Christmas holidays sick with the flu. Andy started feeling sick Christmas Day, and I came down with it a day later. We had to cancel and postpone plans with friends and family. But worst of all was that two of my sisters and their families got sick, too. By New Years' Eve we were feeling better, and got to spend the evening with our dear friends Jamie and Jarrod.

New Years Resolution #1: no more getting sick! We'll see how long that one lasts...