Avoid the Comparison Trap

So you've discovered your tendency. Now what? Well, if you're an Obliger, like me, you might be tempted to compare yourself with people from other tendencies. For example, I oftentimes wish that I could be more like my Upholder husband Andy. Disciplined. Motivated. Awesome.

But that's the comparison trap, and it's hard to climb out of its darkness. I can wish all I want that I was different. But that's not honoring who God created me to be. As an Obliger, I am motivated by others' needs and expectations. I love to be helpful, and I'm good at it. However, I will never feel compelled to get my to-do list done (at least not without someone else's happiness on the line). If it's just for me, I can rationalize the lamest excuses. I haven't exercised for the past year. What's one more day? 

I used to get really frustrated with how easy accomplishing tasks was for Andy. He would shake his head, wondering what was keeping me from making the changes that I so obviously wanted. "You just do it," he'd respond with a sigh. Now that we both understand each other's tendencies, we can both give each other more grace.

So, don't waste your time wishing away your God-given tendency. Instead, work on mitigating its weaknesses, and harnessing its strengths. Because each tendency has both, and nobody (yes, not even Upholders) is perfect. 

Does you struggle with the comparison trap? How do you avoid it?

**If you haven't taken the quiz yet, what are you waiting for? And check out Gretchen Rubin's weekly podcast Happier for more helpful tips.