Braving the Park Alone: One Shy Mama's Tale

Today I went outside of my comfort zone. I went to a park, with my toddler son in tow, all by myself. I wasn't meeting anyone. I didn't know anyone once I got there.

Was it awkward at first? You bet. I am one of those highly self-aware people, and there was a group of moms who all knew each other, and very clearly weren't interested in adding someone (me) to their conversation. It felt like high school all over again.

But, I plunked my diaper bag down on the bench next to the sand box, and while my little guy played, I sat. I pulled out my phone a few times to check some texts that came in from friends (who sadly, couldn't make it to the park). But otherwise, I watched Mr. D and tried to look somewhat approachable (I've been told I have a friendly face, so maybe my efforts weren't that difficult).

Not from the park today, but isn't he the cutest? 

A few minutes passed, and a man, probably in his late 60s, asked if he could sit beside me on the bench. He was there with his wife, and their two grandchildren. "What is this area called?" They were visiting from Vermont. "We have a camper and we just came from Yosemite. Which one is yours?" I gestured towards Mr. D. "Is he your only child?" I nodded, and added, with a smile, "So far!"

Mesmerized, Mr. D toddled after a radio-controlled car. He loves anything with wheels, so I left my bench so I could be closer to him. Just then, a slender woman with a round straw hat came by with her toddler boy. She commented to me about the large number of people at the park. I agreed, and we struck up a nice conversation.

She was from Russia, and her son was just a few months older (and just a little bit smaller) than Mr. D. She told me how much she loved being with her children, two boys, one aged 4, and the other one 18 months. "I was originally hoping for a girl the second time around...but as soon as I saw him (her younger son), it was love. Sometimes, we don't know what would be best for us." We parted ways after a few minutes--I needed to stay close to Mr. D--but I left the park feeling content. I had braved the park alone, and came away feeling more connected with the world.

Mr. D benefited from the fresh air, sunshine, and the opportunity to practice his climbing skills. And this shy mama learned that sometimes it's okay to be alone, for it is through vulnerability that we open ourselves to new experiences, new people, and sometimes, new friends.